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Saturday, November 23, 2024 |
You Might Belong To A Redneck Synagogue If...   
Date: Sent Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Category: None | Rating: 1.51/5 (468 votes)
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People ask, when they hear about oil lasting 8 days, whether it was Pennzoil.
The shofar sounds like a duck call.
The Bar Mitzvah centerpiece is made from grits. It's in the shape of a shotgun.
The rabbi says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to approach the bima," and then five guys and two women stand up.
You can tell it's a fancy Oneg Shabbat when they serve beef jerky.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as another high holiday.
A member of the synagogue requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
The rabbi and the cantor drive matching pickup trucks.
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."
Bris is referred to as "branding."
High notes on the organ set the dogs under the floor to howling.
The Sisterhood recipe for gefilte fish calls for a medium-sized catfish.
You can recognize life cycle events by the clean t-shirts.
For Purim, all the kids dress up as Dale Earnhardt.
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?"
Received from Pastor Tim.
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