|
![]() | ![]() |
 |
View Funnies |
Saturday, May 31, 2025 |
Milton Berle Quotes      Date: Sent Wednesday, May 28, 2025 Category: None | Rating: 3.40/5 (25 votes) Click a button to cast your vote
|
|
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are;
because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.
I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far;
for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
For every student with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The
man answers, "I make a nice living."
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.
- From AZquotes.com
Received from Wayne Onaka.
|