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Military Veterans Date: Sent Wednesday, November 11, 1998 Category: None

Rating: 3.24/5 (102 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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TELLING WAR STORIES

Shooting the breeze down at the Veteran's hospital, a trio of old timers ran out of tales of their own heroic exploits and started bragging about their ancestors. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh."

"Mine," boasted another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn."

"I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world."

"What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know.

"Nothing much. But he would be a hundred 165 years old."

Andychap@aol.com
ALPHA Mailing List
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VETERANS ADMINISTRATION

The Veterans Benefit Administration, concerned that it took an average of 151 days to decide whether a veteran was disabled, spent $94 million on new computers to speed up claims. Now it takes 140 days.

Henry Cate III
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VETERANS DAY

Only seven-year-old Ryan had anything to say about Veterans Day. "Why is Veterans Day on the calendar?" he asked. "Is it the day dogs go to the veteran?"

Kids Are Still Saying the Darndest Things by Dandi Daley Mackall
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PREVENTING BOMBING

During World War II, why did Charles DeGaulle put ugly female sheep in the woodlands of France to keep the Luftwaffe from bombing?

"Because.... homely ewes can prevent forest flyers..."

Harry B. Reeder
Profusions of Puns Gaggles of Groaners
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THE TOP 11 LEAST KNOWN FACTS IN WORLD MILITARY HISTORY

11. Santa Ana really just wanted to use the Alamo's bathroom, but didn't know how to ask in English.

10. Hannibal did not lead elephants across the Alps to fight the Romans. In 218 BC, elephants pretty much went wherever the heck they wanted.

9. France won WW II all by themselves without the help of the Allies. Just ask them.

8. The Civil War was actually fought over the Confederacy's right to keep old cars on their lawns.

7. Nazi POW camps were *exactly* as depicted in "Hogan's Heros."

6. In the Civil War battle of "Sleepy Creek," 80% of all Confederate casualties were named "Jessup".

5. The Battle of Stalingrad was actually fought just outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania.

4. Contrary to popular belief, the French actually possess an army.

3. "Sherman's March to the Sea" was really led by Mr. Peabody.

2. The Boxer Rebellion was actually started by the Pugs.

1. Code words for Israelis? pre-emptive strike in the Six Day War -- "Torah! Torah! Torah!"

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]

Received from Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird (McHaw) List.