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Monday, July 28, 2025 |
Top Ten Lists   
Date: Sent Friday, February 26, 1999
Category: None | Rating: 3.53/5 (99 votes)
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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
And the number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
Received from Maureen Ensminger.
-=+=-
Top Ten Signs You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and
precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
9. You find a lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the
half-open graham cracker garage door.
7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon,rose petal & saffron demi-glace', with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a
delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.
5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.
4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.
3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.
AND THE NUMBER 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart...
1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
From The Top Five List (www.topfive.com)
Received from Jennifer Maniscalco.
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