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Funnies Saturday, July 22, 2017

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Scenes from Military life
Date: Sent Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Category: None
Rating: 4.13/5 (116 votes)
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I RUN SOPHISTICATED weather programs on multi-million-dollar super-computers at a Navy center for environmental predictions. On the morning Hurricane Opal was heading for the Florida coast, my boss, a Navy commander, gave me detailed reports on the hurricane's status to pass along to a friend who has family in the area. Fascinated by his ability to summon up-to-date reports so quickly, I asked him how to do it. He gave me a puzzled took and said "Simple, Go turn on the television and watch the Weather Channel." -Contributed by Joanne Miller

AS A MARINE, CAPTAIN stationed in Okinawa, Japan, I was accompanying the assistant commandant on his inspection of the troops. To break the silence, the general would ask some of the Marines standing at attention which outfit they were serving with. Ramrod straight, each would respond, "Marine Air Group 36, Sir," or "Second Marine Division, General." But near the end of the inspection, when the general asked a young private, "Which outfit are you in?" the Marine replied, "Dress blues, Sir, with medals!" -Contributed by Lt. Col. John D. Bratten

DURING my Army Reserve unit's annual training at Fort Ord, Calif., our battalion commander was upset that evening chow was late. He called the mess hall, and the mess sergeant explained that because their vehicle broke down, they couldn't deliver the field rations to our bivouac site. The commander immediately yelled to his driver, "Private! Drive to the mess hall and get chow!" The private took off on the 15-minute trip. Over an hour later, we were dismayed to see him return empty-handed. "Private!" demanded the commander. "What about chow?" "It was delicious, Sir," replied the driver. "I got there right before the mess hall closed, so I got seconds." -Contributed by 1st Lt. Vince Gilkey

IN THE ARMY during Operation Desert Storm, I found myself in a world that had changed little since Biblical times. With so few creature comforts available, packages from home containing cookies and canned goods were received with great anticipation. When I got a box from my sister, I happily tore into it, only to discover just how far from home I really was. She had filled it with packages of microwave popcorn. -Contributed by Robert T. Sims

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.


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