View Funnies	Friday, August 8, 2025

Previous Funny

Email to a Friend

Archive Index

Random Funny

Printer friendly

Next Funny

The Flu Date: Sent Friday, February 16, 2001 Category: None

Rating: 2.07/5 (123 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

0 1 2 3 4 5

/* I've heard the flu has been going around, so some of you can probably relate to Mr. Barry's experience. Have a great day! */

We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu". You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH," that said "ELECTROCUTION."

Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a) your teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the police would find you.

You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
-- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"

Received from Thought for the Day mailing list.
To join the list, send email to listserv@tamu.edu with
"subscribe tftd-l" in the body of the message.