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Happy New Year's Day! Date: Sent Friday, January 1, 2021 Category: None

Rating: 3.12/5 (49 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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Q: What is a New Year's resolution? A: Something that goes in one year and out the other.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up for new year's. Middle age is when you're forced to.

My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

I see no need to make more New Year's resolutions when the ones already on the books aren't being enforced.

This New Year's, I resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.

Q: What's the one group that hates New Year's Day? A: The New Year's Eve clean-up crew.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.