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Earl & Shirley Date: Sent Monday, May 23, 2022 Category: None

Rating: 3.00/5 (61 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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Earl knocked on the front door, which was answered by Shirley.

"Is Bud in?" he asked.

Shirley didn't like Earl, Bud's friend, so she wasn't friendly.

"Yes, but he's in the shower. What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing, Shirley. How ya doing?"

"As I said, what do you want?"

Earl wasn't deterred by her chilliness. "You know, Shirley," he said, "I've wanted to do something for a long time."

"What's that?" Shirley asked, with an icy stare.

"I've wanted to give you a kiss," he said, "and this seems to be a good opportunity. I'll give you $100 for a kiss on the lips. How about it?"

"You'll pay me $100 for a kiss on the lips?" Shirley asked him.

"Yes," and he pulled out a 100-dollar bill and gave it to her.

"I knew you were a loser, Earl, but I didn't know you were so desperate. Okay, I'll do it." She looked up and down the street to see that nobody was looking and she leaned over and gave Earl a nice, little kiss on his lips.

"Oh, that was good," Earl said. "But I have another proposition. How about a real kiss with your arms wrapped around my neck? I'll pay you $400 this time."

Shirley didn't want to go through this again, especially with Earl, but she knew she could use the money.

She considered the proposition for a moment and then said, "Okay. I'll do it but I want the cash first."

"Sure," Earl told her. "Here you are." He handed her four 100-dollar bills, puckered up, and closed his eyes with anticipation.

Shirley, not wanting to fulfill her promise but wanting the easy money, then wrapped her arms around Earl's neck and planted one of the best kisses on his lips that she'd ever given any man.

"Wow, that was great," Earl told her. "Thanks, Shirley. Tell Bud I dropped by." With that, he walked away.

After tucking the money into her pocket, Shirley walked into the kitchen where she met Bud, who asked her, "Who was that at the door?"

"It was your friend, Earl," she told him.

"I wish I had answered the door," Bud said. "That guy owes me $500."

Received from Wayne Harvey via Mikey's Funnies.