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Kids Are Hilarious 2 of 3 Date: Sent Wednesday, April 19, 2023 Category: None

Rating: 3.96/5 (46 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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We're watching Shrek as a family, and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my two-year-old pointed to the TV and said, "Now, she's a mom."

10yo: "I just read that you have fingertips, but not toe tips, yet you can tiptoe, but not tipfinger."
Me: "It's 6 am."

My 4-year-old just gave me the last apple slice, then announced loudly, "If you eat the last apple, you put the bowl in the sink."

7yo: "Can we have candy for dinner?"
Mom: "Why would that ever be OK?"
7yo: "Because you're tired and don't feel like cooking."
Someone's been watching me more closely than she should.

Dad: "Did you brush your teeth?"
8yo: "I don't need to."
Dad: "Why not?"
8yo: "Yesterday, I brushed them twice."

11yo: "I should get my allowance from when I was away from camp."
Mom: *raises an eyebrow*
11yo: "What, so now you won't support paid leave?"

My son said, "Dad, once I reach 99 pounds, I will eat one pound of nachos. Then I will be 99% your son and 1% nacho son."

I told my daughters they get to split the inheritance when we pass away. My ten-year-old asked, "Will you leave me more if I'm your lawyer?" She's clearly ready for a legal career.

I just learned that our nine-year-old did an experiment on us. He lost a tooth, told no one for three days, and kept the tooth under his pillow. No money. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, and the next night there is money under his pillow. Then he confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.

We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. My five-year-old, out of nowhere, says, "So, I didn't get the promotion." Her comedic timing was perfect.

Received from Daily Humor Youtube.