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View Funnies Saturday, May 18, 2024

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Wooden Eye
Date: Sent Wednesday, September 6, 2023
Category: None
Rating: 1.57/5 (47 votes)
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The civil war veteran was very self-conscious about the fact that, due to a battle injury, his left eye was missing.

His friends noticed that their formerly vivacious companion rarely left home anymore -- and he especially avoided the society of young women. Their efforts to cheer him up and draw him out were unsuccessful.

Then one of them came across an advertisement for artificial eyes. After careful investigation these friends convinced themselves and, with greater difficulty, their friend, that was the way to go.

When the artfully crafted, glossy, wooden orb was in place it was nearly indistinguishable from a real eye. As they talked it up, they could see their friend was pleased, but he still seemed unsure of himself...

However, they did manage to coax him into going with them to a dance. It was the first such social event he attended since entering the war. But despite their encouragement, his friends could plainly see that he was still too self-conscious and shy to socialize with any of the girls there.

As the evening went on, however, he found his attention repeatedly drawn to a particular young lady. He quietly debated within himself whether he had the courage to ask her to dance. Once, as the two of them happened to be near enough for him to overhear her, he noticed that she spoke with a harelip. He found that encouraging. He said to himself, "if she doesn't say anything about my wooden eye, I won't say anything about her harelip."

Finally he made up his mind to ask her. Nervous as he was, he headed to where she was sitting. She noticed him coming, and smiled sweetly at him as he drew near.

He said, "Would you like to dance?"

She replied, "Wouldn't I!"

Whereupon he shouted and pointed: "harelip; harelip!"

Received from Caleb Rhodes.

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