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View Funnies Thursday, May 26, 2022

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Short funnies
Date: Sent Monday, May 2, 2022
Category: None
Rating: 4.49/5 (61 votes)
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* My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.

* As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of ... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

* Sorry I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

* Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, "That can't be accurate."

* I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

* Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defense, defeat, detail. Student: When a horse jumps over defense, defeat go first and then detail.

* I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

* Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation, "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.

* I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

* Felt uncomfortable driving into the cemetery. The GPS blurted out, "You have reached your final destination."

* My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

* Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm alive.

Received from Becky Day.

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